If I’m Being Honest…

So this is a post about honesty, and if I’m being honest…. I really wanted to come up with a punny play on “Pretty Little Liars” for the title, since that’s all I think about these days. But it’s 10:35 and it was a looooong and emotionally exhausting day at work, so we’ll save that title-in-the-works for later.

I came to a realization today while I was blabbering to Alex after work: I avoid certain truths because I’m scared of them or what they entail. I’m sure everyone does this to some degree, but over the past week I’ve been coming clean about some stuff to myself and you know what? It hasn’t been that bad.

Some stuff I’ve been honest about this week:

1. My weight. I haven’t actually weighed myself in like 5 weeks, and I knew when I stepped on the scale yesterday morning that I’ve had a healthy but not necessarily restricted diet the past month. But I also knew that I wasn’t in dire condition because all my clothes still fit, so I figured I better see what shape I was in before things got worse. If I’m being honest… I’m up 4 pounds from my weight when I moved here and 8 pounds from my lowest weight since last year. Totally manageable!

2. My upcoming GRE exam. I’ve been putting off studying for the GRE because a) I’m not 100% sure I’m set on grad school right now, and b) who likes studying? But the GRE is less than two weeks away, and until recently I had no idea how I could expect to do on it. So instead of doing some wishy-washy studying, I sat down with my book and took the practice exam. If I’m being honest…. I did wayyy above average on the verbal section, and although my math score was nowhere near where it needs to be, I got a really good idea of what needed work and what I was comfortable with. Tonight I sat down with Alex and went over all the math questions I got wrong, and I’m already feeling more prepared for the exam than I was a mere 48 hours ago.

3. My bank account. I’m notorious for avoiding my online banking system like the plague. A couple weeks ago I set up an account on mint.com, and it’s been awesome. I have to say, I thought I was going to hate it. I even cried the night Alex was setting it up for me because I’m such a big baby about my finances. If I’m being honest… having an online system to manage my money has made it SO easy to see where I’m saving, where I’m spending, and that I’m right on track when it comes to being financially responsible.

4. The looming start of another school year. I spent all of college PRAYING to not be in college any more. I didn’t love JMU (sorry, fellow Dukes…. just stickin’ with the honesty theme), and I was beyond ready to graduate. I thought the world would be eagerly waiting for me on the other side of May 5. If I’m being honest… I just saw this video:

…And now I feel like a brat for ever hating school, and I’m really jealous that my roommate and most of my Charlottesville friends get to go back to dining halls and club meetings and office hours and study parties in just a couple weeks.

Being a little (lot) more honest with myself about big events/topics/emotions is almost always the best path to take, because the truth is almost never as overwhelming as you expect it to be. I feel a million percent better just knowing that I’m okay, things are not dire, and all I needed to do was look at the facts.

One last bit of honesty? I called Best Buy today and MY CAMERA IS COMING BACK SO SOON! Oh! How I’ve missed it! How banal and quotidian (thank you, Princeton Review, for those GRE words) my blog posts are without photos!

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